I am a middle aged lady in a long term marriage. We have small children. My marriage is not happy. I am not sure of ALL the reasons for there are many reasons (Known and unknown) on both sides. But the main thing I am worried about is my spouse's drinking. I am not sure if he is an alcoholic since he has stopped cold turkey before and did not go into DTs or anything BUT he does drink every single day and to excess. This is nothing new and has been a point of contention for almost 20 years. BUt now I have to think of my kids. My spouse is not abusive. But I can tell when he is drunk and the kids will be able to too soon and it makes him short tempered and me irritable and angry too. Is it better to have a two parent household and try to make it throught or am I subjecting my kids to something unhealthy that will just end up perpetuating the cycle?? How does one decide? I've tried getting him to stop drinking and he has stopped and started several times but never for good and until I am ready to know if an ultimatum is the way to go then I am not prepared to give it. HOW DO I KNOW to stay or go??