If you were in a romantic, long term relationship and your partner decided that he or she wanted to be with someone else, short of killing the person he or she wants to be with, how would you handle this?
Name: Ericka
Date: Aug 13, 2008
If my romantic partner were to tell me that he was leaving me for someone else, I would of course ask the questions: who? why? when did he realize that he wanted out? As painful as it would be, I would have to start my healing process. I'm sure that I would have mixed emotions, from anger to sadness, but I know that holding on to someone who's not as invested as I am will not make the relationship work. I would hope that my partner would be honest with me in trying to understand why he was leaving the relationship.Through his honesty, I might learn something about myself that I can improve upon so that I don't make the same mistakes in my future relationship(s). My experiences with a failed relationship has taught me alot about myself. I have learned my likes, my dislikes, and I have learned to take the time that I need to take care of myself.
Name: Kimberly Strayer
Date: Aug 14, 2008
I'm sure I would being dealing with several different emotions to get my head around this situation. If my long-term partner decided he wanted to be with someone else I would want to know who it is and why he's chosen to be with her. There may have been signs that this was coming and I chose to ignore them, but it doesn't make it any easier to deal with. I would be furious and want some explanations. I don't think you can make someone stay with you if they don't want to be there. Relationships are hard enough and it takes two to make a relationship work. If he has already moved on, he won't be there for me anyway and I wouldn't want to be with someone I couldn't trust. I would have to let him go so I could start the healing process for myself and keep it moving. I would also have to set boundaries, because when it doesn't work out with the other woman, there is no coming back. It's all about respect and what you need to be happy.
Name: shunda /strayer university
Date: Aug 16, 2008
There are three old saiding that i like to remember
1. i'm not in no business of keeping a man that don't want to be kept. 2. what may be trash to you my be treasure to some one else. 3. if you feel that the grass is geen on the other side and you must test it when you cross the lawn you better maker sure thats what you want, there is no coming back.
First of all you have to love your self and eveything else will fall in place if he wants to leave let him no how you feel about it be stern and mean what you say and let him go it's your decision if you let him come back personly I could'nt let that take place if he made his bed then he will be made to lie in it.
Name: Jonathan
Date: Aug 18, 2008
If I was in a realtionship and faces this situation with my partner, I would defintley be upset, and the depending on how long were together, and weather or not kids are involve would truely play a big part in my reaction to this. If kids were involve I would proably try to reason with my partner and ask them to reconsider or I would seek full custody of the kids due to me not knowing what type of people or envoirment they would be introduce to. If there were no kids involve, I would proably says that's coo if that's what you, and to get the hell on with your life and stop waisting my time.
Name: General
Date: Aug 19, 2008
Relationships are what you make of them. If I was in that type of situation, I really don't know what I would do. I would probably be angry and upset but after a while, I would sit down with her and make sure that is what she really wanted. It would be difficult in the beginning but if you think about it, it would be better for her to tell you then you find out another way. So just remember the road of life has many detours. You learn from everything you go through in life. You can always start over it is never to late. The most important thing is happiness.
Name: Dr. Stevens
Date: Aug 19, 2008
That was a great answer. 20 Points
Name: Kimberly
Date: Aug 19, 2008
Well thought out - 20 points (Dr. Stevens)
Name: Erika
Date: Aug 19, 2008
That was a great answer. 20 Points (Dr. Stevens)
Name: Shunda
Date: Aug 19, 2008
Love those quotes - 20 points (Dr. Stevens)
Name: General
Date: Aug 19, 2008
Very mature answer - 20 points (Dr. Stevens)
Name: Kevin/Strayer
Date: Aug 19, 2008
If I was to be in a situation like that, first I know that I would be hurt ofcourse, but time heals all wounds, even thou it may take some people longer then others to get over the breakup. It will always be a painful emotion to go threw, but if I was to persue the relationship I would only be hurting myself even more. So even thou she may want someone else, at least she would be woman enough to tell me, and not lead me on to beleiving I have a strong relatiionship. There's always more fish in the sea, and I'm a strong beleiver in that.
Name: Catherine/Strayer
Date: Aug 19, 2008
it's funny you asked this question and it's exacly what i am going through. i was with my boyfriend for 3yrs and i just found out he was with someone else and also got her pregnant! i was very devistated and i felt like the world was crashing on top of my head. i felft brtrayed but i handled it in the best way possible-acceptance. the world is a very crucial one so to be denying your own feelings and deniying the truth, your pretty much lying to yourself. i didn't eve get to ask all the questions that i wanted to because i was so hurt and angry. to tell you the truth i don't even care because to me in my eyes he is not a real man and so i don't need to hear more lies!
If you were in a romantic, long term relationship and your partner decided that he or she wanted to be with someone else, short of killing the person he or she wants to be with, how would you handle this?
Name: Catherine
Date: Aug 20, 2008
Good for you - 20 points
Name: George Strayer
Date: Oct 29, 2008
First, I think you should try and sit down with the unhappy partner and ask if there is anything that could done differently that would change their mind. This is an attempt to save the relationship. If the partner's mind is set on leaving for someone else, the best thing is to let them go - at least you are allowing them to try to be happy. Once you can get over the painful disappointment, you can try to date again (assuming you are ready for that). I think waiting for the one who left to tire of the new relationship and then return is a big mistake, because if they did come back, they would likely do it to you again! Make a mental note to self that this was not MR/MRS Right, and they are still out there for you to find.
Name: Seven
Date: Oct 30, 2008
If I was in an romantic relationship with some one and they was going to leave me for someone else, I would want to know why and who? I know that its going to be painful and I would have alot of mixed emotion about this. But its better if they tell me than if I find out by my self. I would try to understand why they are leaving me.
Name: Anonymous
Date: Nov 1, 2008
WE CAN ALWAYS SAY WHAT WE WOULD DO IF IT WAS US, BUT TRUST WHAT I SAY WHEN I SAY USUALLY WE DO THE OPPOSITE WHEN IT HITS HOME.
If I was in that situation I believe I would of course be hurt and devistated. I would have to get all the answers of Who,When, etc.. because if I didn't I would never get closure. My mind would always be trying to figure it out and I would be stressing my self out by doing so. My emotions would have to go through the tipical stages of shocked, hurt, mad, angry, lonly, and back to mad again. I would try my hardest to just let him go, becuase you can't keep a person who does not want to be kept. Also if they see that you still going to be running after them than that is exactly what they are going to allow you to do and they will continue to hurt you because they will be seeing both of you. It's just they no longer have to hide with it because they took it off their shoulders when they told you. I would let them go and start my healing process so that I am healed from that relationship before I take the hurt and distrust into a new relationship. I am also a strong believer that when one door closes another opens and it's usually something greater on the other side. That is if we wait on it to open and not go trying to pry it open ourselves.
Name: paula-strayer
Date: Nov 1, 2008
oops! I forgot to put my name in the post before this one to get credit for it.
Name: LISA K /STRAYER
Date: Nov 2, 2008
IF MY LONG TERM LOVE TOLD ME HE WANTED TO BE WITH SOMEONE ELSE, I WOULD, AFTER COMING OUT OF NUMNESS AND SHOCK, HAVE A LONG TALK WITH MYSELF INTO DEALING WITH THE PAIN. I WOULD KEEPING MYSELF BUSY DOING THINGS THAT MAKE ME HAPPY. BECAUSE TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHY, WHAT HAPPEND AND WHAT IF ANYTHING I DID WRONG WOULD ONLY PRO-LONG THE HURT INSIDE AND FUSTRATE ME MORE. WHY EVEN TRY TO TALK TO HIM WHEN HE HAS ALREADY DECIEDED HE WANTED TO MOVE ON AND BEING A STRONG BLACK WOMAN I WOULD ALSO KEEP IT MOVING. I KNOW THATS EASY TO SAY WHEN YOUR NOT IN THAT SITUATION BUT TRUST, I HAVE BEEN THERE!!!!!!!!
Name: ALANA R/STRAYER
Date: Nov 2, 2008
If I was put into that situation, its hard to say. I know I would be numb, hurt, angry, sad etc. But I would want to know if there was something wrong with me, if there's something that could have been done differently etc. I would want to know who the female was, how long have they been seeing each other, etc. I however don't think I would be TO upset with the female, because chances are she probably didn't know that he was in a relationship with someone else. But if she did then we would have some problems (her and I). But, one thing I wouldn't do is beg him to stay or ask him to give us another chance. You can't keep someone if they are not happy, and you wouldn't be happy either. There are too many other men out there to stress over one that doesnt want you. It would be a lesson learned.
